I just got a call saying that my Grandfather is back in the hospital. It's only a matter of time I think at this point. The aunts and uncles like to keep it optimistic looking, but they're just still trying to protect us "kids." You know what's the worst? I'm the oldest grandchild, and all he wanted was to see me have his first great grandchild just as his father was able to do. And if the hub and I had had it our way, Grandfather would have already been able to hold his great grandchild and to see it take its first steps. It just F-ing SUCKS.
I know it's not my fault, and I know he would never want me to feel this way, but I just feel so sad that I didn't get to share that joy with him. We were always very close and seeing his love for my child would have been a beautiful blessing to carry with me always.