Depressing with a side of funny

We're back. My mortgage company is going to, "review the financials," but in short, it's the same. It really doesn't matter to them if we default. We'll see. But enough on that.

Secondly, I forgot to have my thyroid sonogram done. There's a nodule she needs to check. So I have to get on that. My HDL is almost at good levels and my LDL is only 5 points above where it should be. Because of my transgressions though, my triglycerides are again double what they should be. She scared the shit out of me with heart attack talk, and I am now going to try hard to walk the straight and narrow. And for me, the food choices are quite narrow. So I have 5 months to get my butt in gear on this before my next appointment. I'd appreciate any and all encouragement. Having family that rarely makes it past 65 because of heart disease (otherwise trim, active and healthy) is a motivator, but it's still so hard sometimes.

And now for the funny.

E was so good through the appointment and mortgage stuff. At the end, I could tell he was uncomfortable in a dirty diaper, but we couldn't change it right then. At the very end, he couldn't contain himself and started grunting and straining loudly. He replied to my, "What are you doing E?" with

I'M FINDING A POOP!

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Big Day

Today I'm like one of those people on a Dateline special. Today I head downtown for a meeting sponsored by (one of my) mortgage companies to learn about possibilities of adjusting our mortgage. We received an invitation in the mail along with instructions on what to bring. I'm hoping that, like the special said, meeting in person with them will be far more effective than my hours on the phone being transferred from person to person. I know people often think we're idiots for being fooled into a balloon loan at 9.5% for our down payment part of the mortgage. But I'm here to tell you that it was pretty darn easy for a broker to pull a bait and switch that was supremely difficult to pull out of... especially for new home buyers with no lawyer (upon recommendation from trusted individuals). 


In any case, let's hope something good comes of it! In addition, I head to Endo today to see where we are. After 3 months of normal cycles, my body has fallen back off the wagon. I will also see how my blood lipid levels are going. I'm a tad afeared because I was horrible with my eating right before the draw. And when I say I'm ashamed of that, it's only because I know my body can't handle it, yet I do it anyway. My body can't handle much more than a smidgen of cheating, but I so love food. 


Lots of luck needed today! Send some my way!

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Food Truck Awesomeness

I didn't know about food trucks until we moved to Florida. I still didn't know about them until years after. Have they been around long? Am I just slow? In any case my husband and I, bordering on foodie (with a hippy bent), are hooked. We used to have to travel into the city to a massive gathering where we'd wait in long lines in a baking parking lot. Sure there was a lot of variety, but good luck getting to much of it!


This weekend, we attended one in our little area that's going to be there monthly! It's tiny, but that means there are no long lines, we can WALK there, and it's in the middle of a field where the kids can run and play. I love it! We're already developing favorites. 


One new thing I tried was a pupusa. Oh my heavens. Heaven in my mouth AND tummy... sometimes a difficult combo. I've also experienced mochi ice cream and Korean tacos this way. Our whole family revels.


Do you have food trucks in your area? Have you ever gone? Tell me all about it! I do so love the food talk.

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Parenting Pundits

I get really tired of so many "experts" talking about how we should raise children in practically every sense. I believe there is no catch all other than do not abuse.

I'm also tired of, "if we parented like the French, or in the 40s, or the 50's, or like the Chinese..." The list goes on and on. Here's the thing. I don't believe we are in a "parenting crisis." Youth issues are so much more complicated than that. I also don't believe parents who search for a different way are necessarily "wrong."

What is important is that we parent in a style that works for our families and that consistency is maintained. Abuse and/or negligence is not acceptable, but I don't believe most parents exhibit those traits. Call me an optimist, but those smug, "experts" be damned.
The end.

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Body Image

The lady at the consignment shop was so nice and helpful. She was also teeny tiny, and it turns out, a mother to a 4 year old. We discussed the matter of the "pouch." She assured me that it goes away with the proper exercise.

I nodded politely but methinks if hers went away that it wasn't the loose chicken skin Bleh of which I was speaking. Am I right? Is that a plastic surgeon's milieu or do I have hope?
In related news, I'm ashamed of my eating the past 2 days though I did run on Sunday and Monday. That felt good.

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Taking Care of Myself

I type this as I sit here feeling guilty that I took a half day at work and left E in daycare at a time when he's seemed particularly needy with me. At the same time though, I realize that I need time just to myself now and then. I have so little time with just my own thoughts. Some people don't need that down time but I do. I don't need it very often from my wonderful offspring, but every now and then, I just need some cerebral space. Don't get me wrong. I'm still picking him up early so he can benefit today too. Part of leaving early today was giving him a break from the grind as well. But this is me time. It's so interesting... this push me pull me part of motherhood. On one hand, I'm reveling in the pure bliss of the quiet. On the other, I'm missing E and wanting to kiss his sweet face. It's just that the quiet is slightly winning out at the moment. 


In this vein, I've accomplished most of one number on my Goals for the Year! I got my new Clinique skin care for the aged. OK.. so I'm not so aged, but my skin is showing signs of heading there. But I love it! I've also gotten a new pair of jeans that actually fit. They aren't even hand me downs! I exchanged something at Target and got them instead. I also found a consignment shop I loved and bought an adorable Ann Taylor shirt for $10 (I will be visiting again!) and found a Groupon Now deal for a great haircut at a really good salon! I look and feel so much better. It feels so good to be indulging me a little bit again. My priorities are still so much different than before E, and it's ok with me, but I have to start taking better care of myself again. And it's coming. It feels so good to have more of me back. Damn IF for robbing me of years I could have procreated so that I could have been at this spot earlier with maybe two children. Ah well. I can't say I'm not happy, so it all worked out in the end. 


What's up with you all?

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Animal Kingdom smarts

E's interpretation of wildebeest and peccary: little beasts and Peter pipers.

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Random and Fun

• Weirdly enough, something I missed when we got a Queen bed was being able to curl my toes over the end of the mattress. (I did not miss the cramped space)
• When I sleep with E, I get to do that again. It's kinda fun.
• In related news, Ikea beds are lovely, and E doesn't snore as much as Daddy.
• I got PART of one of my goals accomplished. I got new skin care products from Clinique. Oh Clinique how I love you. Your tinted moisturizer is wonderful for my dry, sun ravaged, aging skin. So many other product lines make me break out. Clinique never has.
• The weather has been beautiful. I don't want to see summer. 
• We're having visitors in April, May and June. 
• Running is going well. I'm getting so much better! I can see a difference each time I run. 
• I have a blood draw tomorrow for a recheck on all my lipids and hormones. Wish me luck. I'd like to avoid statins. 
• The end.

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Letters to Little Man

Dear E,
You aren't a baby anymore... at all! You are such a little boy it's incredible. At a little over 2, you show no sign of being terrible. In fact, you are loving, sweet, funny and so smart it scares me.
I love how you ask, "What's dat?" for every part of an object. You don't want to just know it's a hammer. You want to know it has a claw and a head and a handle. (Probably not the right term, but cut Mommy some slack.)
You count to 30 now. THIRTY. When you have your own kids, this will amaze you. Your memory is a steel trap. Three weeks ago, I showed you what an epiphyte was. Today you brought me one and said, "Can you say epiphyte Mommy?"
But my favorite is just how warm and kind you are. You hate seeing distress even in people on cartoons. You hug and kiss us all the time. When you want comfort, you rub my hair or arm. You thank us for things and again days later when you see it. You get very worried when we don't seem ok, and if we apologize to you for something, you are in a hurry to reassure with a, "Don't worry Mommy. It's OK."
Your humor is blossoming too, and I love it. You try to trick us and are starting to think bodily noises are funny.
Daddy and I just said to each other again last night, "How were we so blessed with such a wonderful child?" I know everyone says that if their children, but you really are wonderful and amazing E. I really truly believe that... Even when you mimic me saying, "Dat SUCKS!"

Love,
M

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Life and the Bright Side

When I was younger, I was much more energetic and made it much more of a point to find things in life to look forward to. I wanted to be excited and happy about my day no matter what it held. For example, I might look forward to the school assembly, or seeing a friend, or if nothing else, coming home to check the mail. (There might be something good for me!) But as life knocked me around, I slowly slid out of that habit.

I just remembered it recently as I naturally started to pick it up again. It made me feel so good that I decided to try to practice it more consciously. I've been in such a good spot that it's working, and it's been easy! For waking up early tomorrow for work (ugh) I'm remembering that we have a unique project going on with customers this week that should be fun, challenging and interesting. I still like E better, but it's something.

It's all been going so well that I knew the other shoe had to drop. We have two pretty intense medical situations going on with close family, and it makes me remember all over again why people matter more to me than anything else. And just as I was settling into our house better and liking Florida again, I feel the urge to move. Crap.

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Running- Worried edition

This was my 4th go. On a positive note, my stamina was much much better. I pretty much breezed through this step. Another positive is E's positively reinforcing, "That was a fun run Mommy! And.. Run Mommy run!"

The problem: my ankles, hips and lower back are twinging. The ankles are the worst. I had hip problems at the end of and for a long time after pregnancy. But I've never had ankle problems before. I would greatly appreciate any insight. I'm enjoying this and really want to continue. It's sadly difficult to run on anything other than pavement here too.

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Easter Egg Hunt Success!

Running is Hard

Yesterday I ran my C25K program for the third time. The kicker is, I ran day 2 over because I had to cheat a bit on my original day 2. I've also resigned myself to the fact that I will only run twice a week. I love having 3 day weekends, but the resulting 12 hour days (with lunch and drive time) just leave very little time for anything else on work days.

BUT, I notice I'm not struggling as much, and I've lost 2 pounds! Eating better has helped. I WILL get down to my acceptable weight.

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Goals for this Year

1. Run a 5K
2. Read the whole Bible. I'm 34 and have only ever read parts. I need to do it if I'm going to agree and disagree with parts of Christianity.
3. Finish the kitchen and hallway painting/fix if projects
4. Fix up the garden
5. Organize the garage with shelves.
6. Get a service for the air conditioner.
7. Pamper myself with a massage, GOOD hair cut and new make up/skin care projects.
Thoughts on these goals? What are yours?

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It was indeed his first thought on cauliflower. Good guessing guys!

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