A few of you have asked about my Aunt. I thank you. My family will heal as it always does in times of crisis. We are a large clan with heart disease running rampant; so this kind of tragedy is all too common. Aunt had become the matriarch of our clan. Everyone seems a little lost right now since she's gone. We thought we had more time. We always think we have more time.
My Grandma was the oldest girl in her large family. She only had one brother older than she. Her mother died when many of the kids were young, so Grandma became the caretaker and eventually, matriarch. Everyone looked to her to handle things. Everyone gathered around her for Sunday dinners. She just drew people. She was well respected and loved.
Grandma always had heart issues. She had more heart attacks than any one person should endure. Then, at 57, the doctors told her she had very little time left. It could be tomorrow, or it could be 3 years, they said. It was 3 years. My Mom was very young when Grandma died. She had two older siblings, but Mom tended to be the one to take on responsibility. She had me to care for after all. But you need someone to look up to in your early 20's, and Aunt filled that role for Mom. Aunt and Uncle (who reminds us so much of Grandma) started to treat Mom as one of their own. When Mom was little, she played with their kids as if they were brothers and sisters, so it was a natural evolution. Aunt and Uncle even made me, and later my step-sister, feel as if we were theirs to care for. Obviously we weren't the same as the grandchildren, but Aunt and Uncle filled a void we felt.
I'll never forget something Aunt said about us to a visitor. A family friend had stopped by the house and was inspecting the photos displayed on the entertainment unit. He read through all the names of the grandchildren and then stopped when he came upon my and Sister's faces. "Why are they on here?" he asked, "Isn't this just for grandchildren?"
Aunt replied, "Those two belong up there just as much as every one of my grandchildren."
Aunt was tough talking and full of grit. She'd tell you what she thought and damn the consequences. But she was also full of more heart than most people I know. When a cousin on my Dad's side of the family passed away at a young age, Aunt wept quietly to herself even though she never knew her. She wept for the loss of such a sweet young life.
Aunt's dog, E ran away once and came back carrying pups. Aunt cursed and huffed, saying she didn't want to deal with all those animals. Then E went into labor, and Aunt tenderly helped deliver all 14 puppies and cried when one didn't make it. She even worked around the clock to help E feed the pups, as 13 was too much for one dog. They placed all 13 in loving homes.
These are the memories that will come up when I visit home soon. We are a "talk it through" family. We'll share wonderful memories and hugs, and get through it together.
Remembrance
Update Monday, June 16, 2008 at 1:22 PM.
Dalam topik musings
Dalam topik musings