It was not a good day. I had to be around a certain someone today who I have not seen in quite a while. This someone seemed to serve as a catalyst for bringing back all my negative thoughts and feelings about IF in one huge flood. What a way to realize that you've just been repressing everything! If I ever thought I was "getting over it," I've been disabused of that notion rather harshly. As I said, it was not a good day.
Because of those feelings, I got into my, "I must make a decision this minute and move forward!" mode. The decision I made (with the help of Hub) was that I would call my endocrinologist and try to move my appointment with her up so that I could ask her what she thought of herbs versus trying Metformin again. Maybe Metformin actually helped me ovulate for those 3 cycles, and it was some other wacky reason that I stopped ovulating on femara and gonal-f. Who knows. We never gave it a shot on its own since every time I asked my RE, he was all, "Nooooooo! Full steam ahead! Changing TSH and going on Met won't make that much difference!" sigh.
So I called my endo to see what could be done. What happened next shouldn't even affect me anymore, but it still makes me feel like poking pencils into my eardrums.
First of all, I asked if we could move my appointment up, could I leave a message for my doctor, etc etc. Then the fun part...Me: I know it seems silly to want to move up an appointment that's only a month away, but when I let it go on too long, my period is really hard to handle when it finally comes.
Receptionist: Mm Hmm.
Me: [ blabbering as usual] I also get a little impatient after 2 and a half years of trying to conceive.
R: Oooh, I know how that is. Believe me.
Me: [eying pencil holder warily]
R: Yeah, wouldn't you know though...
Me: [deadly serious] No. Don't say it!
R: [giggling a bit] ...when I stopped trying is when I got pregnant!
Me: [sharpening pencils] Seriously. Don't even tell me that.
R: Sometimes you just need to take a break and relax!
Me: I've taken many breaks and relaxed plenty, thank you. I'm still not pregnant.
R: AND... when I got pregnant, it was even when I went...
Me: OK, that's enough.
R: [ignoring me] ... on a cruise!! [insert giggles] I had to go on a cruise to get pregnant!
Me: [ruefully eying the pencils that were too late] Yeah, cause that works. Don't even tell me that. A cruise does not cure PCOS.
R: We've told you before that you don't even seem to have the full syndrome.
Me: OK, that's enough. Thank you for your time [click]
Seriously. That is really how the conversation went. I'm sure I got a few of the exact words wrong, but that's exactly what she said to me, and that's how I responded. What kind of numbskull does not understand the tone (in addition to the words) of "I have had enough thank you! I do not appreciate your assvice!" This is after a whole conversation of how I don't know if I've ovulated or not, even though I'm on CD42, things are fine blah blah blah. Buttmunch.