I feel like a restless animal about to give birth that just can't get comfortable and has sudden fits of aggression and/or insecurity. I suppose that's accurate considering I AM an animal very close to giving birth. I'm just so agitated in mind and body. I can't get comfortable. Any wrinkle in my day equates to crazy anxiety for me. I stayed home from work today because I overdid it big time yesterday with some projects. I felt like my pelvis was going to fall apart along with other things. And when I'm at work, I'm paranoid, insecure and uncomfortable. However, now at home I'm lonely, frustrated and feeling guilty - all clear signs that the problem lies with me.
I can only assume hormone craziness is the culprit as usual. Last night it was cold in our home, yet I woke up in night sweats more than once. And the outward remnant Christmas mess and other unfinished projects in our home make it all the worse. When I'm in orderly surroundings, it feels easier to keep myself tied together on the inside. Please tell me it's not just me and that it will get easier as time goes on with the baby. I'm afraid of my wonkiness and afraid that post partum is going to be very difficult. At least my Mom will be here to help me.