The hormones they must be a-changin again. I seem to be in the midst of some no-crazy, which is perfect timing because I was worried about the woe is me I'm home alone crap that happens when I feel like that. (Because I'm off work now!! WOOT! Just in time to save my horribly aching body!) And last night, I did not have night sweats! It's the little things don't ya know. Unfortunately, the random grumpy remains. I just hope this doesn't mean that things continue to NOT happen in there. I have an appointment today. We shall see.
It was very bittersweet to leave my work people last night knowing that I won't be there again for months. I do love my job, and they have been so very good to me. At the same time though, I had definitely reached the limit of my ability to do that job with any sort of efficacy. And the fatigue was awful and caused me emotional stress all day long. Had they not been so kind, things could have been bad.
Note, however, that every place has its annoying person/people, and I'm about to tell you of one of them. She just started on the team and appeared to me by behavior to be about 15, experience perhaps 22 and looks - maybe 24. I can handle her when working only in a professional capacity. When she turns personal, I have to watch my reactions. The interactions I'm about to describe have taken place plenty of times with me reacting to them in different ways in the hopes of diminishing their frequency. Obviously my methods have not yet worked. Here's how much of yesterday went:
Nice co-worker #1: So what does it FEEL like when he kicks? Does it hurt? Can you feel actual body parts from the outside? Is it weird?
Me: As dumb as it sounds, it feels exactly like you would think. It's like there's a little person inside you, bones and all pushing and poking. And no it doesn't hurt anymore unless he gets a tender spot... etc etc.
Annoying co-worker: (just walking in) EEEEEEEEEWWWW! SO GROSS! Ugh.
Me: Silence and completely ignoring (had been my latest tactic)
Later....
Nice co-worker #2: How have you been feeling? Is the pressure getting worse? Have you noticed any contractions increasing?
Annoying co-worker: (again - walking into our conversation) That is just TOO CREEPY. Yuck.
Me: silence
In the company vehicle at the end of the day when I am just DONE....
Nice co-worker #3: So why DO you burn so many calories breast feeding?
Me: Well, you're making sustenance for another human being from your own stores. That takes a lot of energy! And as they need more, you need to make more etc..
Annoying co-worker: Oh my GOD, SO SO GROOOOOOOOOOSSSSS! (and on and on.. not exaggerating I promise you)
Me: REALLY? Really? It isn't GROSS, it's what we DO. We're MAMMALS. We make MILK for our young. How are you from a science background and don't understand this?
Her: But it IS gross. It's just disgusting!
Me: It's what cows do. It's what horses do.
Her: EEEEEEEEWWWW
Me: It's a natural process. It's just ridiculous to be so grossed out by it and so vocal about that to someone you barely know who's doing it. (In my head: If you don't like to talk about it, leave or politely ask if we can change the subject)
Nice co-worker #3: Well, I know I am freaked out a bit by it and right now feel like I couldn't do it (in a slightly hurt tone)
Me: I completely understand that. It's totally normal to feel all those things. What I DON'T understand is thinking it's so incredibly abhorrent and unnatural that you can't even think or talk about it and that you'd express that to my face so obviously. It would be like me saying you hate your future babies for being scared of breast feeding... which I do NOT do.
By the way... annoying co-worker's actual age? 28.