There's a girl at work who I thought I really liked. She's a bit harshly criticized me a few times throughout my pregnancy and now that I've come back. She does not want to have biological children, which is fine. But walking a mile in someone else's shoes is about the only thing that makes it ok to even THINK about hurting them with certain criticisms.
The other day I jokingly said, "You think I'M crazy but what about so and so?!" She said, "Yeah, she's crazier than you are for sure, but there's a long list below you that aren't as crazy as well." She did not seem to be joking, just as she hasn't been joking when she's given me "talking tos" before. Might I add that she is much younger than I am, and much less experienced?
It hurt my feelings a lot. It's one of those things that messed with my fragile confidence that is starting to slowly build. I want to not care, but it's so hard. Every part of me wants to make her understand. I know she wouldn't though.
Every part of our battle with infertility, depression, thyroid disease, anxiety and post partum issues has made me so much more empathetic and less judgmental to the larger world. It's hard to say though whether I appreciate the difficulties because of that or not. It seems pretty cushy to sit in an ivory tower like that and feel so smug about your own life. I just might prefer that to the awareness I have now if it brought the peace of mind this woman seems to have compared to me.
Judging
Update Saturday, April 3, 2010 at 4:37 PM.
Dalam topik Feeling crappy
Dalam topik Feeling crappy