I'm having trouble integrating back into work.... still. It's not just leaving the baby and the fact that he obviously is stressed by going to daycare despite the fact that he likes his provider. I think it's also that I'm rediscovering who I am. I'm having trouble with the old work Barb and the new Mommy Barb. I'm not sure how to put them back together or if I should be embracing a whole new identity.
I'm a singular passion in life sorta gal. Aside from family, my main passion in life has been my career. But now I seem to want my career to be motherhood with a little bit of job on the side. I never expected that drastic shift. I guess I should have, but I feel like I could never have dreamed how intense this would all be. All of this has left me floundering.
I feel a little lost, a little alone, a little crazy and a lot confused. I'm finding I didn't truly have very many real friends. I feel very judged by those who haven't had my experience, whether with children or not, and I'm struggling to not let that affect me. Why should it?
I'm really hoping I'm not the singular crazy person in all this struggle.
Finding Me
Update Saturday, July 3, 2010 at 5:04 PM.
Dalam topik Feeling crappy
Dalam topik Feeling crappy