As I get older, I learn more and more about life. I learn more about understanding and compassion. And there are so many things I've said or thought that I wish I could recant. These are a few about pregnancy and parenting.
1. I could never be a stay at home Mom. I will need to work full time.
I still think I'd like to work part time, but I think I could be quite happy with one day a week even. I like to be able to get out, but there are many weekends where at the end of the week I am desperate to stay with my house and baby just one more day. It feels like just when I get into a good Mom groove, I have to go back to work. And though I probably like work just as much as I always did, it feels like nothing now compared to how much I love this child. This was a huge shock to me. I thought I was too antsy to want the homemaker stuff, but I underestimated just how interesting and fun I'd find my home once there was a baby in it.
2. I will never again judge a parent who has to leave work early or call off due to a childcare issue -
not even if it seems excessive. I have no idea what they are dealing with, and it's way more difficult than I ever imagined to juggle childcare and full time work. I realize now more than ever just how full of shit politicians are when they say that we are working toward making families work and being more family centered. At my work, we aren't "allowed" to call in sick for a sick child. Nor do we have personal days to use for a sick child. I really don't know what we are supposed to do. I have no family to watch E, can't send him to daycare and can't ask a coworker to watch a sick baby. Am I just supposed to leave him home to fend for himself? It's all extremely frustrating.
3. I will never again make any comments about breast feeding in public.
I don't even care if the woman is waving her boob around while singing the Hallelujah Chorus as she gets ready. (well - maybe a little snicker at that one) Breast feeding is difficult enough as it is without others being dickwads about it. Much in the same vein as the above comment, I have no idea what that family needs. I, myself, have a baby who hates being covered up and rips off said covers quite easily. I also hate being covered because it's so damn hot. What it meant for me was that I didn't go anywhere for long and often fed in the car. But that's just because I'm so inhibited. I don't feel other women should have to do that. And it's kind of sad that we as a culture have become so unused to the necessary feeding of our children that we find it vulgar. Being a breast feeding Mom, I've found that it really isn't that at all. Your breasts become the body parts that nourish your child. Nothing vulgar about it.
4. I'm going to be the kind of Mom who can still go out and have "fun!"
I still boggle that I ever even thought this. I was a homebody long before I even thought of having a baby, so how that would change with a baby I have no idea. But again, I had no conception of how very fascinating and fun I would find my own child. I don't really want to be away from him. I love his company. As Jen famously (at least to me) said, "I LIKE her. I WANT to be with her." It's probably because I work too, but I very rarely want time away from E. On hour or so, and I'm chomping at the bit to be with his sweetness again.
5. Why can't they just bring the baby with them? We all want to see him/her too!
Oh wow. What an ass hat I was on this one. Lugging a baby around takes all kinds of thought, prep work and energy, not to mention that no one understands just how deathly important the nap schedule is! Something I never even thought about down here is how very hot the back of the car is in the summer and how very long it takes to cool down. Poor E is all sweaty even if we start it well in advance. We hate subjecting him to that.
6. I'm going to be laid back about my baby and parenting.
HA HA HA HA haa haa hmmm. Oh hormones. Oh type A. Oh the shock of my life.
7. I will never take a gift like that (meaning getting to have a baby) for granted.
This one I don't take back. So far I have always felt like it was an incredible gift even during my crazies. In fact I think it contributed to my crazies because of just how desperately I love and need E. Even if we always have just one child, that's ok. I do, however, wish that people understood that post partum depression and/or anxiety have no bearing on the love you have for your child. People at work have judged me, and I have seen them judge another woman who is still struggling with depression in a pretty bad way. I want to tell them she needs their hugs, not their holier than thou judgment. It's so frustrating.
I Eat My Words
Update Friday, August 20, 2010 at 6:22 AM.
Dalam topik musings
Dalam topik musings