Edited at bottom to add a new link!
Before E, I had started getting to a point where I was ok with me. I knew who I was. I knew my flaws and that was ok. I had a nice, comfy world. Then when I became a mother, there were many little changes in my personality. My world view shifted, and I lost confidence. Added to these were the facts that my hormones were crazy, and there was a being out there now that truly meant more to me than my own life in every conceivable way, and there was no way I could protect him with a totality that would suit. The insecurity of it all knocked me flat.
But I have built myself up again little by little. First, I had to gain confidence that I was a good Mom. I've done that with the help of friends, family and a good counselor. Lately I've been working on accepting all parts of myself for who I am and being ok with it. Since my attitudes toward right and wrong changed some, I had to accept that I had lived outside some of those new rules pre-E, and that that was ok. Furthermore, who I am now is ok, and I'm not a wimp for becoming softer, more motherly. Besides, I admire those most who know themselves and can be completely honest about it without apology. Maybe that can be me someday.
In that spirit, here are some things that I AM or AM NOT, and all of it is good.
1. I am headstrong.
2. I am not funny.
3. I love positive attention.
4. I am stoic.
5. I am introverted.
6. I am anxious.
7. I am passionate.
8. I am not bold.
9. I AM brave.
10. I am serious.
11. I am thoughtful.
12. I am cautious.
13. I am enterprising.
14. I am hard working.
15. I am not precise.
16. I am a good generalist.
17. I am not beautiful.
18. But I can be pretty.
19. I am not loud.
20. I am loyal.
21. I am unsure.
22. I am loving.
23. I am intelligent.
24. I am knowledgeable.
25. I am not genius.
26. I am talkative.
27. I am spirited.
28. I am over eager.
29. I am idealistic.
30. I am impatient.
31. I am scattered.
32. I am not charismatic.
33. I am sarcastic.
34. I am a perfectionist.
35. I am a Mother. (a good one)
36. I am a wife. (sometimes a good one)
37. And I am a daughter, sister, friend, Aunt, cousin and niece.
I am Barb.
If you'd like to make your own list of things you are and are not, please let me know so I can link to you and view your thoughts!
1. Pinky and the Zebra had a great list here.
What Am I?
Update Monday, January 31, 2011 at 6:07 PM.
Dalam topik musings
Dalam topik musings