Things are pretty wonderful at the moment. With the help of some friends, I've gotten control of the house and Hub is at a point where he can help. When things are in their place and clutter eliminated, I can breathe easier. When there is less dirt, I am less anxious. It's a beautiful thing.
It's funny though that the condition of the house now would probably be something I met with disdain before I got pregnant. I would berate myself for the dirty baseboard, the untrimmed hedges, the cluttered coat rack. I would think I was lazy, irresponsible and dirty. Then I would leave it until it could be left no more because I would know that the minute I started, it would have to be perfect. I would be on my hands and knees scrubbing all day and into the night. Now I realize that compared to now, my house was practically spotless then. I am good at cleaning. I am good at mothering. I am a good wife.
It doesn't matter that the house is less clean now than before. What matters is that I'm doing the best I can, and that we're happy. So in the spirit of being nicer to me, I'm going to list all the "extras" I did pre-baby that would be herculean for me to do all at once now and accept that I was awesome then, and that I'm pretty darn good now as well.
Things I did in a regular cleaning before pregnancy:
1. scrubbed the drip pans in the stove
2. cleaned under and behind the frig
3. Cleaned windowsills and the insides of windows
4. Cleaned all mirrors
5. Scrubbed all the floors and baseboards
6. Wiped down the walls
7. Cleaned old stuff OUT of the frig, wiped down the shelves and scrubbed the drawers
8. Vacuumed the sliding glass door tracks and all the vents in the house
9. Vacuumed our mattress and flipped and rotated it.
10. Washed the pillows
11. Organized shoes, clothes, etc
12. Wiped down all cabinet doors, top of frig and around door handles and light switches
13. Windexed glass on picture frames
14. Dusted EVERYTHING (including ceiling fans).
Plus all the "regular" things involved in a normal cleaning
Extras included: Cleaning out drawers/cabinets, shampooing the carpets and cleaning outside windows.
Now I'm lucky to even finish dusting. Baby fingerprints cover all glass surfaces pretty much constantly, and the refrigerator hasn't been cleaned out in a few weeks. I might scrub the floors once every couple of months. Sounds disgusting to the previous me. But ya know what? I'm happy. We're ok, and I'm getting a handle on the worst of it. I rock.