Letters to Babybutt (to read when you are older)

My Dearest baby,

It seems you have inherited much of Mommy's sensitivity, empathy and affectionate nature. There are so many positives to those traits, and we are delighted that you love hugging us, being with us and seem to so fully care how other living things feel. As you pet an animal you always say, "Nicey, nicey!" and do it so gently. It's amazing for an 18 month old.

But with the up side comes the down, and I want you to understand how to manage it. Things will affect you more often and more strongly than the way in which other people will feel them. I'm both glad and sorry for that. It will sometimes be harder to turn off your brain and get to sleep. It will sometimes be harder to turn off your brain and remember the good. Scary movies can be your enemy as can the nightly news. Surround yourself with positive, supportive people. The others don't matter. Oh yes, I know they matter in a human sense, but they don't matter enough to give them any part of your precious self. And you are definitely so precious. Believe that. Own it. You are an amazing human being who can feel empathy for others but yet not expend all your own energy doing so.

It's going to be difficult so many times. But when it is difficult, please go to your happy place. If you need to grieve, do it and don't be hard on yourself. Once you grieve, remember the circle of people who will always always be standing behind you. I will be with you forever E. And even though I am your Mommy, know that I speak the truth regardless. Your sweetness and sensitivity are a gorgeous asset. They are very powerful conduits for change and creativity. You can use them well and know that you deserve all the best.

Even though you may not think it as you grow up, I've been there and know how you feel. I remind myself daily now that the times you have difficulty sleeping, or separating from Mommy are so similar to how I was as a child (and still am in many ways). I was so attached to my Mommy, your grandma, as a 3 year old that she had to have me tuck my hand in her back pocket while she mowed the lawn. I didn't want to be away from her, and she wanted me to be safe from the mower. Even if it took her an hour, I stuck with her the entire time. I feel that we are like that E. We are buddies. We have lots of love. The difference between your childhood and mine is that you have both a Mommy and a Daddy cheering you on equally as a strong, loving unit. And Daddy can teach you even more ways to respect and protect yourself while remaining a caring human being. He's better at that part, I'm better at the nurturing. We share our strengths. We are a family, and we will stay that way.

Love always,
M

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